Putting the Nation in therapy….first session.

After an evening and morning of simmering over the recent political debacle, I have decided to approach the issues facing our nation in a different light. I’m taking advantage of all the money I’ve spent on a Masters in Social Work degree and applying known-effective counseling techniques to our current dilemmas.  If it works for the individual, maybe…just maybe…..it can work for the country as a single unit. Regardless, things can’t get any worse, right?

Using Solution-Focused Therapy, or SFT, the client looks at where they want to be and then plots out the changes needed to get there. You find a solution, and then you do what you have to do to reach it.  SFT is my favorite therapy to use because – to me – it has a lot of benefits as you use it, not just once you’ve finished it. The outcome is clearly defined and obtainable, which makes deciding which changes to make easier. Once those changes are decided upon it’s easy to measure progress as you go, which provides a sense of accomplishment. Furthermore, like I mentioned before, in most cases there are immediate benefits to those changes even before the final solution has been accomplished.  So, treating the country as an individual, where do we want to be when we finish therapy?

Hmmm……. gainfully employed with a stable financial future and a happy family. Sounds good.

So, again, pretending the country is an individual, what are the problems preventing us from reaching our solution?

• Employment issues.  Work is complicated.  We have a boss and the boss is directed by two different boards of directors, each board works with a different set of ethics and values, which sometimes leads to a complete and total shutdown of productivity.  It’s difficult for us to tell who is in charge sometimes because both the boss and the two different boards make deals with other agencies that include promises and cash flow that usually benefits the other agencies rather than our employees. This basically creates an upper-level system of marketing and commerce solely benefiting the upper level but being funded by the employees, resulting in gross amounts of income for those upper-level members while most of our employees are filing for welfare. Speaking of our employees…..most of them are twiddling their thumbs with nothing to do and no money to earn because their work is either tied up in unions (included in the aforementioned “other agencies”), outsourced overseas, or eliminated through automation/technology.
• Dependents. Deadbeat kids who are demanding specialized treatment because they’re adopted. Deadbeat kids who are our own but are demanding that we “take care of them” for no other reason than that we can. We love our kids so they shouldn’t have to work, right?
• Greedy neighbors. We have trade agreements worked out with our neighbors because they have something we need and we have something they need. However, trade is no longer fair because now our neighbors want 15x for their item as we want for ours. Furthermore, this neighbor only charges a fraction of this cost to their own family members. That doesn’t sound fair.
• High debt load. It’s happened to everybody….went on a spending spree and racked up too much credit card debt. Trouble is, we’re so fiscally irresponsible that we borrow money to pay for our borrowed money. If we don’t get into a debt management system soon we’re going to be forced to file for bankruptcy.
• Family mayhem. Our house has a standing set of rules which each family member has interpreted to their own benefit, resulting in a great rift between family members over whose interpretation is the right one. This situation is complicated by peer pressure from overbearing and influential friends who want to see a particular interpretation come to fruition for their own selfish benefit.

Okay, so we have 5 major areas we need to work on. For a first session, we’ve made wonderful progress in identifying our problem(s). Now we can begin to develop solutions….in our next session.

Wake-up Call

I sat on this piece yesterday and put politics aside in honor of our military. Truth is, I was chomping at the bit to post it because of our military. Four men died in Benghazi because of the carelessness of our current administration. That alone is tragic, but the lies and the coverup that have followed have been a disgrace. This video stemmed from my frustration and anger over the whole situation, from the unnecessary deaths of our Americans in Benghazi to the shameful way the government has handled it.

Every issue noted in this video is legitimate and has been verified by the White House itself or reputable news agencies. Benghazi, SOPA, CISPA, ACTA, the AP news raid, the IRS targeting of conservatives, fast & furious (our government running guns to the Mexican drug cartels, not the movie!), drone use, Common Core, gun grabs, the true cost of Obamacare, and use of retina/fingerprint scanners on our school children….these are all issues that the American people should know about.

Wake up, America, and educate yourself. Demand answers. Hold this administration accountable for its promises and actions.

In honor of Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Tyrone Woods, and Glen Doherty.

Most recent additions to the “endangered” list – perspective, imagination, and compassion

Ok, so I read the local news online, and often times comment on the story if it’s of particular interest to me. In the last week I have seen several people make roughly the same comment and it’s really starting to p!ss me off.

One comment was regarding a woman whose toddler drowned in their pool. Someone made the comment that this was a horrible parent because they didn’t spend the money on a safety fence around and they should have been able to since it costs more to maintain a pool than the safety fence would have cost. As a pool owner and parent, I can tell you that this is absolute bull! It costs us maybe $25/month to maintain our pool (and it’s a large in-ground pool) but a safety fence around the pool costs over $2,000 – NOT INCLUDING INSTALLATION. When I pointed this out to the original poster, I was then crucified by several people saying that it was obvious that I had no concern about my child’s welfare. Three people even went so far as to say that I should have been able to afford the safety fence if I was able to afford the house, and if I couldn’t then I shouldn’t have bought a house with a pool. What these idiot posters didn’t realize is that the house cost us everything we had and the ONLY way we were able to afford it was because it needed a lot of cosmetic repairs. They also didn’t know that I didn’t want the pool, but this house was the only house that had the amount of space that we needed for our family of five that we could afford. They didn’t know these things. Didn’t know that I was so paranoid about finding my son drowned in the pool that I made him sleep in bed with me for the first month. Didn’t know that I had placed alarms on all the doors so I’d be alerted if he went outside. Didn’t know that at night I placed a baby gate outside his room so that he could get to my room but couldn’t get to any of the doors that led outside. Didn’t know that I had taught him extensively that the pool is dangerous, that he’s not allowed around it without an adult, and that it’s a big “NO-NO” by himself. They didn’t bother to find these things out before judging me and lashing out. Didn’t know…or didn’t care.

After moving past this bunch of idiots, I saw the other comment that sent me over the edge. On my Facebook feed today, our local news station was pointing out that obama was holding a speech today. Someone commented that they were sure it was going to be about mortgages and how the government was going to make mandates that would cost the banks money, which would in turn would result in them raising the fees they charge their customers. This (insert sarcastic tone of voice here) insightful individual (end sarcastic tone) then went on to say that people whose homes are in foreclosure are morons and they should stop spending money on things they can’t afford. OH MY FREAKING GOD I JUST ABOUT CAME UNGLUED!!!

People have lost their jobs. Jobs aren’t there for those who are unemployed. Cost of living has gone up while paychecks have gone down. Gas prices are forcing some people to park their vehicles indefinitely. Bottom line is this – THINGS THAT WERE ONCE AFFORDABLE AREN’T NOW AND IT’S NO ONES FAULT BUT OUR GOVERNMENT. How can you sit there and blame someone for purchasing a home that as little as a couple of years ago might have been easily affordable? How can anyone blame a person for economic down-turns and a dwindling economy? How can you criticize someone for not being able to see into the future?

“Everyone should have at least a year’s worth of bill payments set aside in case they lose their job” – that’s the comeback that some people use. That’s all well and good, but how can you do that when the costs of the bills continue to rise beyond what you have set aside, and when it takes longer than a year to find a job?

The comments those people made were short-sighted, evidence of narrow-minded thinking, and showed an incredible lack of being able to think outside one’s own existence.

Perspective. Imagination. Compassion. These are all elements missing from society today. The ability to consider someone else’s perspective, imagine life from someone else’s standing, and then feel compassion for their challenges. And as the economy gets worse, I fear this will increase and we will produce a generation of cold-hearted, cruel, selfish individuals with no concern for their fellow man or humanity in general.

Why? The Lion in my heart says it’s a lack of God.  People don’t care about the Golden Rule or the 10 Commandments. My mind tells me it’s a lack of morals or ethics. My logic tells me it’s desperation, frustration, and anger from people struggling to survive in a country with a failing economy and government. Collectively, it’s the perfect storm for miserable people, and everyone knows that misery loves company.

Whatever the cause, it’s going to require a perfect storm of positivity to counter it. I don’t have the answers, but here’s praying for thunder.